Stylin’ Love Gloves

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Just another day in the office.

I was taking a tour of another office the other day when a basket of brightly colored items caught my attention. I’m a small child, attracted by bright objects. What can I say? My excitement only grew when I realized they were condoms, and that the condoms sported excellent logos and sayings. So I did what any professional woman would do: Dumped them on the counter, chose my favorites and snapped a photograph. In front of a co-worker of course.

They also remind me of a scene written by the lovely and fantastic Jules Dixon (HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JULES), who has a hysterical scene in her Triple R Series where the characters discuss all of the wacky and ridiculous condom related sayings.

Of the above, “Hump One” is my favorite. In the world, “Wrap It Before You Tap It,” also ranks high.

Another good one? “Don’t be a Loner, Cover Your Boner.”

So, what’s the best condom saying you’ve heard? Don’t be shy, share below for everyone’s amusement! In other news, I also have a Tumblr which you can follow at

More good news ! Also moving sucks

More good news!  I’ll tell you this part first because it’s more incredible than I’d even hoped for.  I recently had multiple offers on my book Love In Progress and accepted one on the condition that I make it a series!  So after some late nights brainstorming proposals with my critique partner Jules and my kicks beta Amanda, I proposed a series which Forever Yours has signed!

I’d had my fingers crossed to sell one book, so selling three is even better than my wildest dreams.

Also in excellent news, I’ve made the two hour move and started a new day job which I LOVE.  The husband is still finishing up some renovations on our house and I’m very hopeful it will sell.  It feels greedy to ask that our good luck streak continue a little longer, but I wouldn’t complain if it did.

So we love our new digs and I love my new job, but moving in general is a pain.  We’re downsizing to a much smaller house and decided to sell a lot of our furniture.  We’ve been living in a rural area where there isn’t a craigslist or anything like that, but the Facebook yard sale page is hopping.  I’ve had lots of good experiences selling on craigslist before.  I sell you my furniture for cheap and in return for a good deal, you get it the hell out of my house.  Win win.

Apparently I was wrong.  Facebook yardsale has quickly become the bane of my existence.  I think I’m at the point where I would rather burn everything I own than deal with another human being on that site.

One person who asked me to measure my table, then asked:  “Is that big?  Because I have a little one and I need a bigger size?”  Lady.  I’ve never been to your house.  I have no idea how big your table is and therefore, I have no idea if mine is bigger.

My other favorite: The picture I posted of our sofa has the dogs laying on it. Someone messages me to ask if it was from a pet free home. My response? No. I own the dogs sitting on the sofa.

This is excluding the four am text from the woman who wanted me to enter into a payment plan with her, the person who couldn’t find my house even though she lives right down the street, and the woman who had her husband drive up to the yard sale then wouldn’t get out of the car and yelled questions at me until I came to the car door to show her items Price Is Right Style.

Habitat for Humanity picks up, right? On the plus side, the next time we move, this will already all be done!