American Men and Shopping in Bulk

Our friend A and his wife live in the UK, she’s British and speaks Geordie fluently.  We have constant confusion when trying to translate her sayings and phrasings into American, as well as an ongoing debate over who speaks English the right way.

The other day she posted a picture of five eggplants (which she calls aubergine) with a tag “this is what happens when I send my husband shopping”.  He immediately responded, “I thought you liked eggplant.”  I died.  All you ladies out there know exactly what I’m talking about.  Take a man into Costco and you’ll be there for four hours and out four hundred dollars.  This applies to my dad, my brother, my husband.  They all freaking love Costco.  I’ve never been brave enough to take all three of them at the same time, but that sounds like a promising idea for a Survivor style reality TV show.

The comments on her post shed a little more light.  Apparently bulk shopping is an addiction specific to American men.  Who knew?  Of course H jumped into the conversation and proclaimed, “I love Costco!”  He’s not kidding.  There are three things he’s guaranteed to come home with if I send him to Costco:  pasta sauce, yogurt and some kind of sausage.  He’s particularly inclined to buy new weird things because if you average out the cost “they’re cheap and we’re saving money!”  Not if it’s gross and we don’t eat it, my love.  I still have a massive box of black bean pasta in my cupboard because I can’t bring myself to throw it out.  Warning:  black bean pasta has many things in common with cardboard.

To be fair, I knew exactly what I was getting into.  As part of a project in college, a professor took him to a restaurant supply store.  H came back with a jar of pickles the size of his torso and proceeded to carry it all day to classes as well as down the streets of Boston.  This story is still infamous in our circle of friends.  What can I say?  Dude loves his pickles.

So here’s to our beloved friends and their week full of eggplant.  What’s the weirdest thing you or your SO have ever bought in bulk?

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